High Heels and Low Lifes

When planning a film, you’ve got to be very brave indeed to take the old chestnut setup of two non-baddies taking on a gang of bad-baddies with a little spot of blackmail and think that you can make it work. High Heels and Low Lifes has a go, offering up only really one slight twist – the two non-baddies are women.

As such, there’s not really a lot to divulge about what goes on. Shannon (Minnie Driver – she’s got to be up for a role in any remake of The Italian Job with that moniker) is a dedicated nurse, saddled with a loser dork boyfriend named Ray. It’s her birthday, and on eventually arriving home after a long day at work, primed for a lovely dinner and a few drinkies, she meets a wall of thickheaded indifference, as her worse half is too rapt up in creating his “urban noise symphony� installation. In other words, he has a radio scanner, which he uses to listen in on the conversations of others and record them into a sampler, whereupon he can make them go “n-n-n-n-nineteen� to his heart’s content.

"It’s very unhealthy to have your head so far up your arse. I’m a nurse, I know these things..."

Justifiably pissed off, Shannon ditches the dork to catch up with her thespian friend Frances (Mary McCormack), an American in London appearing in a truly frightening “art� (in this case a synonym for “wank�) play which comes across much like a nightmare cross between Buffy and Days of Our Lives.

Cue one or ten birthday drinks, and a meandering stumble home to Shannon’s flat. It seems Ray has left all his techie gear going, and they’re soon listening in to a call from somebody who seems to be your typical unable to commit male wanker – until they realise that he’s actually your typical unable to commit male wanker who is also in the midst of helping out with a bank robbery. Jotting down his mobile number on a convenient hand and filled with civic responsibility (well, in those bits that aren’t filled with alcohol), they pop down to tell the fuzz, but are greeted by an extremely indifferent “who gives a toss?� attitude. Well, they tried to do the right thing, so why not now do the wrong thing and blackmail the robbers for a cut of the job's takings?

Unfortunately these robbers are somewhat nastier, meaner, more horrible and more wanker-like than the girls anticipated, and not surprisingly they don’t take too kindly to the blackmail attempt. News travels up the ladder to the Mr Big of the operation, who decides he wants the blackmailers’ testicles in a jar. Well, that may pose a bit of a problem...

Penned by Kim Fuller of Spiceworld infamy and with Mel Smith of Not the Nine O’Clock News/Alas Smith and Jones appearance fame (as well as directorial duties on Bean and the classic The Tall Guy), High Heels and Low Lifes manages to take a somewhat hackneyed, predictable and wafer-thin premise and have a bit of fun with it. The result is a quite snappy and fast-paced combination of comedy and thriller elements that is certainly an entertaining way to pass a little less than an hour and a half away – if you’re not after too much of a mental challenge. The two leads do a pretty good job, however it is the cast of baddies and the two slightly bumbling detectives working on the case (almost all brought in from various UK telly programmes, including the rather wonderful Fast Show) who really lend the film a bit of flair, for rather than playing it predictably stupid, there's actually quite some menace mixed into proceedings to give the whole affair a little more edge than may be expected.

Finding its way to DVD in its original cinematic ratio of 1.85:1, and anamorphically enhanced, High Heels and Low Lifes scrubs up fairly well. Colour is fabulous – especially for an English film, where drab and grey is usually the order of the day – and blacks are pleasingly black. There is a little bit of grain on display at times, especially in the many aerial shots. These were filmed on video and later transferred to film, so it’s assumed this may be the reason. Otherwise the picture is for the most part quite crisp and clear, specks are at a bare minimum, shadow detail is generally good and aliasing/shimmer are only evident on a couple of occasions. The layer change pops up mid-scene on a predominantly static shot; it navigates quickly and is scarcely noticeable.

A quite adventurous at times Dolby Digital 5.1 mix is the only audio option, and really not much more could be asked for (well, except perhaps for DTS as featured in the cinema – for the session or so that this actually showed there). The opening sequence in particular has some fantastic surround usage, with some of Ray’s found audio artefacts (with quite the odd penchant for cabbage) emanating from all over the room. Otherwise the rears are used well throughout to make for a nicely comfy audio experience. Add to this the subwoofwoof, which throbs away merrily on many an occasion, but not always in over the top fashion (in other words it’s done right), and few should have cause for complaint. All is synched well and understanding the dialogue amidst all the music is never a problem.

Speaking of the music, the score comes from one Charlie Mole (Adrian’s brother?), and is predominantly in a quite enjoyable, sort of funkified 007 style. It shares the airwaves with a selection of pop songs ranging from disco classics by The Trammps and Edwin Starr to modern day equivalents from the likes of Groove Armada and Faithless, to a rather obvious selection from Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin, and the simply fabulous Sugababes track Overload. The only drecky piece is a closing theme from Mica Paris – for a modern day soundtrack that’s not too bad a hit rate.

Something strange is going on in the land of Mickey, as this is the third disc we've crossed paths with of late to have problems with its 16x9 enhanced menus when the player is set for a standard television. With limited animation this issue isn’t too pronounced in this instance, however the little selection pumps don’t line up too well, which is annoying. Sub-menus are fine, as they are not enhanced for widescreen. Anyway, this problem aside, there is a small selection of extras here to explore...

Making of: At just shy of 20 minutes, this full frame (with 1.85:1 film clips) presentation is a rather unfocussed look behind the scenes of the film. Interview snippets of varying lengths are included with most every cast member, along with a lot of the crew, including Mel Smith. Coupled with behind the scenes footage and copious amounts of film clips, it may be of interest to some. Do not, however, watch this first as in truly spoilerific style it gives most everything away – including the entire ending!

Film Highlights - Action Overload: Possibly designed especially for the MTV, blipvert generation, this is a just under two minute, fast-cut compilation of scenes from the film, accompanied by a somewhat stress-inducing soundtrack. It’s in the correct ratio, and is also anamorphically enhanced, complete with 2.0 sound.

Audio Commentary – director Mel Smith and screenwriter Kim Fuller: Commentary virgins both, Mel and Kim (now come on, how could THAT one be resisted?) take to their task reasonably well, even if they do tend to harp on about those bloody aerial shots a tad to often! Behind the scenes goss on locations, script alterations, wigs, problems with English weather and more is here for the taking, and they even point out their favourite scenes - of which there seem to be an awful lot...

High Heels and Low Lifes is certainly no classic, however if you like the type of film that offers up a fricassee of frivolity, frocks and frills, erm, thrills there’s plenty here to like. The sort of in one eye and out the other flick that offers more repeated plays than many bigger releases, the disc offers fairly well presented video, excellent audio, and a few decent extras. Only out as a rental currently, you could definitely do a LOT worse than to give this one a spin. Mind you, to put this all in perspective, I thought Spiceworld was quite the hoot...

Oh, and if you’re the type that gets off on the sight of chicks toting big guns then there’s plenty to get your tongue lolling about your ankles. Wanker!!!