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All 282 reviews from Vince Carrozza
  • 12 Monkeys - Collectors Edition
    "Colonics for everyone! The Army of The Twelve Monkeys are coming to dvd!"
  • 20 Million Miles to Earth
  • A Bronx Tale
    "Robert De Niro's directorial debut is an engaging piece about growing up in the Bronx. Unfortunately, the picture quality needs a slap in the head."
  • A Knight's Tale
    "He will rock you, then he will go and adjust his hair."
  • Absence Of The Good
  • The Accidental Spy (Rental)
    "Jackie Chan, the human Energiser Bunny, is at it again in an average formula action film on a barebones rental disc."
  • The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
    "...if there are any DVD virgins reading, show up at your DVD shop right now with a jar of petroleum jelly, and ask for Ford Fairlane! "
  • Air Bud - Seventh Inning Fetch (Rental)
    "Not a very good movie, not very good at all. The DVD is satisfactory, if you simply must force your kids to endure it. It is for your kids and not you, right?"
  • All About the Benjamins (Rental)
    "Ice Cube plays his normal grouchy self in an entertaining generic action comedy rental release that might tickle your fancy, you kinky little devil you."
  • All of Me
    "With Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin possessing the one body, the possibilities for bizarro sex scenes could be endless."
  • All the King's Men
    "All the King’s Men should be made mandatory viewing in all schools so kids can learn from an early age what a bunch of shifty bastards politicians are. "
  • American Psycho
    "I have a feeling that quite a lot of you are going to feel you have something in common with Patrick Bateman. I think I do."
  • Analyze That
    "Roberto, she isa da funny man, Mr Billy, she isa da funny man, and dey make you laugha some."
  • Andromeda 2.2
    "In space, no-one can hear you snore..."
  • Andromeda 2.3
    "Tall blonde alien chicks, intelligent chickens, violent bloodbaths - this DVD doesn't have any of these things, yet it still has the nerve to call itself sci-fi?"
  • Andromeda 2.4
    "The further adventures of our crazy far-out friends and their talking ship, and no I'm not smoking anything. Maybe I should."
  • The Animal
    "See a man chat up a goat..."
  • Antwone Fisher (Rental)
    "Have you been abused? Have you been abandoned? Are you a sailor? If you answered “YES!” to all of these questions, then you may be eligible for a special Hollywood ‘Depressing Life Story Grant’! "
  • Any Given Sunday
    "Stand back, everyone. Oliver Stone has something to say...and he's gonna say it loud."
  • Assassins
    "I notice that I’ve been drinking a lot more since watching this Stallone box set..."
  • Assault on Precinct 13
    "Simply pathetic for a legitimate product the studio expects you to pay money for."
  • Bad Company
    "Film - Bad Company, Picture - Good Company, Extra - Bad Company, Sound - Good Company, Review - Good Company, Vince - Bad Company."
  • Ballistic - Ecks vs Sever
    "A really really stupid violent action film on a good looking and sounding DVD. There isn't any nudity though, which, considering it stars Lucy Liu, is a real shame."
  • Barney - Come On Over To Barney's House
    "Don't fool yourself, Barney blows."
  • Barney - More Barney Songs
    "Barney – worse than a good hard kick in the nuts. "
  • Basic
    "Is Hollywood funding research into baboons writing screenplays as a source of lowering production costs?"
  • Bear in the Big Blue House - Dance Party!
    "Kudos go to The Jim Henson Company who have created fantastic characters the kids (and adults) will find lovable. "
  • Big Trouble
    "...if you’re in the rental shop and there’s nothing else, maybe rent this. Otherwise, go with that stupid Adam Sandler film you know you want to watch..."
  • Billy Jack
    "The new age, hippified, freeform fashion that much of the film takes will have many people today shaking their heads in disbelief that is was ever made. But I still love it."
  • Black Hawk Down: CE
    "Serves up a slice of audio and video mayhem probably not experienced in the home cinema market before, and the two DVDs of further viewing are the perfect compliment to enhance your appreciation of the film and your understanding of the real event."
  • Black Knight
    "Nice picture, nice sound, nice extras, utterly crap film."
  • Boris Karloff - The Black Cat/The Raven/The Mummy
    "...you have to admit that a DVD with THREE of his films on it for around the same cost as a three-piece feed from KFC represents pretty bloody decent value."
  • The Brain From Planet Arous
    "A horny floating brain tries to take over the world"
  • The Brian Setzer Orchestra - Live in Japan
    "Yeehaaa! Crank this baby up and burn your system to the floor with cool sounding guitar riffs, screaming horns and wailing lyrics, all coming at ya crystal clear and thumping."
  • Brian Wilson - On Tour
    "If like me you missed Brian Wilson on his recent trip to our shores, do yourself a big favour and go and get this DVD. "
  • Brokedown Palace
    "This film looks like it was a co-production between the Thailand tourism commission, MTV and Hollywood. It’s a vision of hell that’s easily digestible for 16 year old girls."
  • Bubble Boy
    "Bubble Boy plays for the lowest common denominator in comedy, and many times hits it fair and square in the nuts."
  • Cabin Fever
    "Ultimately, the concept of the enemy/monster/killer in the woods being an unseen flesh eating virus is the only decent idea in a film devoid of originality. Don't believe the hype. "
  • Car Wash
    "Now I can't get that song out of my head! All I hear is At the car wash! - my God it's driving me nuts!"
  • Carry on Sergeant
    "I want boobs, I want bums, I want jokes about giving people a jolly good rogering. This has none of that."
  • The Cassandra Crossing
    "This is not exactly a DVD to showcase the finer abilities of the medium..."
  • Cheaper By the Dozen
    "I fully expect (unfortunately) that Steve Martin will be appearing in yet another family-friendly comedy in short time."
  • Cheech & Chong Get Out of My Room
    "...inhaaaaaale... hackcoughcoughhack... ...mmmyeaaaaaaaah... man I'm hungry..."
  • Cheech & Chong's Next Movie
    "If you’re a Cheech & Chong fan, a pothead, a throwback to the eighties, a goof-off, a small dog or a juvenile delinquent, then this is your cup of bongwater."
  • City Under the Sea
    "What, indeed, was the point of this film, and why did they write a part for a bloody rooster?"
  • Clash of the Titans
    "Ray Harryhausen does it Greek style."
  • Cliffhanger : Collector's Edition
    "It knows it’s big, dumb, loud and stupid. In fact, it revels in it. "
  • Clint Eastwood - Out of the Shadows
    "...preferring to take the road of praise for an American icon rather than a warts and all exposé... "
  • Clockers
    "There's a gem hidden inside there, but you've got to clear away the message covering it first."
  • The Code (Rental)
    "La Mentale shows that the French can recycle American material just as much as the Americans do French cinema when they’re hard up for a story."
  • Conan the Barbarian: Special Edition
    "Dis moofie is aboudt Cohnan gedding revenge on da perzon who killedt hiz mudder and fudder and gomes as an funtuzzic Spedtial Edition DVD"
  • Conan the Destroyer: SE
    "Cohnan returns for more neck snapping, sword stabbing, blood gushing, horse punching action."
  • Corky Romano
    "I really wish Corky Romano wasn’t such a stinking pile of monkey vomit. But it is."
  • Cradle 2 the Grave
    "I really wanted to hate Cradle 2 the Grave because I thought it would be totally moronic shit, and it is totally moronic shit, but I liked it anyway. Go figure."
  • Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)
    "Fishman watch DVD. Fishman go crazy. Fishman kill human. Fishman want woman. Fishman happy now. "
  • Crimson Tide: SE
    "This does just about everything that a DVD about nuclear subs, mutiny, Gene Hackman and small dogs should do."
  • Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
    "...even a great transfer can't make up for this pathetic attempt to generate some extra retirement money for Hoges."
  • Cube
    "...a very good film that serves as a nice antidote to the poison of some of the big budget rubbish..."
  • Cypher
    "A quality mind bender thriller from the creator of Cube, do yourself a favour and rent/try/buy a copy of Cypher today!"
  • Danielle Steel's Daddy
    "The "Rid the World of Danielle Steel Fund" is now taking donations."
  • Dante's Peak: SE
    "James Bond's greatest ever adventure has it all - a mountain, a dog, an unstoppable bad guy and now even a DTS track!"
  • Dead Heat
    "This isn’t the one about zombies."
  • The Dead Pool
    "Not the greatest ending to Harry’s film exploits, but reasonably entertaining if you don’t expect too much"
  • Demolition Man
    "A surprisingly good Stallone film lumbered with a pile of junk for a picture. It's a shame, but then that's what we get for being sheep..."
  • Destination Moon
    "10, 9, 8, 7... oh just read the damn review, will ya?"
  • Dinner Rush
    "I guess it’s not every day you get to watch a film that makes you feel like burping afterwards."
  • Dirty Harry
    "You don't need to feel lucky to enjoy this dvd, punk."
  • Disorganized Crime
    "Plays out like a disorganised idea, and you’ll most likely forget what you’ve watched five minutes after turning the telly off."
  • Doctor Dolittle 2
    "Stupid talking animals on DVD, what more could you want? Extras, you say? There's plenty of those as well. Now sit down, shut up and laugh. "
  • Dog Soldiers
    "One of the best bits of balls and all low budget frenetic filmmaking I've seen in a long time which puts glossier bigger spending films to shame."
  • Down To Earth
    "Hello, I'm Chris Rock and I suck eggs."
  • Dragonfly
    "Kevin Costner does Sixth Sense Part II on a DVD with a spot-on transfer. Give it a go."
  • Dreamcatcher
    "In a movie full of ideas, the Shit Weasel, unfortunately, is probably the only interesting one."
  • Earth Vs The Flying Saucers
    "The people of Earth face their ultimate threat – not from the DEVIOUS COMMUNISTS! Not from the WILEY CHINESE! Not even from the sinister ROTARIANS!"
  • Empire (Rental)
    "...worthy of a midweek rental at best, save your Friday and Saturday nights for something a little more satisfying."
  • Encrypt
    "...if you think your wife and child might be dead but you’re not 100% certain, then you should just give up all hope and try to bonk the first Asian looking hologram you see."
  • The Enforcer
    "Dirty Harry and a female partner? Is that a .44 Magnum in his pocket, or is he just happy to see her?"
  • Equilibrium
    "Screw Reloaded, this is hype free and far more satisfying."
  • The Escape Artist
    "A story-driven film not dependent on twists, nudity or sensationalism to capture your attention. "
  • Exit Wounds
    "The film is tired, clichéd and predictable, but the DVD looks and sounds bloody marvellous."
  • Farewell My Lovely
    "Average quality disc, flick about a private dick played by Mitch, with chicks, thick thugs, stones and drugs. Try saying that twice quick."
  • Faust
    "With its moments of the effectively macabre, this is a stylish and frankly entrancing film"
  • Fawlty Towers - The Complete Series
    "There's no doubt that these DVDs will be getting a lot of replay in future."
  • FearDotCom
    "A competent DVD release of a less than competent film. Some lights, a proper story, a better title, better actors and a different director might have saved it."
  • The Final Countdown
    "U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A! "
  • Fingers
    "A rough film to watch with another edgy performance by Keitel, unfortunately this is also another NTSC release which doesn't help matters."
  • First Kid
    "A so-so kids comedy about being the spoilt brat kid of the President. I think he's a little turd and someone should slap his arse. Damn kids!"
  • Flaming Star
    "Elvis acts! Elvis sings! Elvis kills! "
  • Flashback (Rental)
    "Stay right away from this DVD. Not only is the film rubbish, but the DVD is hardly worth the effort either with a shocking dub the only language choice. "
  • Flight to Mars
    "A classic to rival Citizen Kane, Schindler's List and Porky's 3."
  • Flixmix: Boogeymen - The Killer Compilation
    "Watching this DVD is an entertaining way to cut out the excess flab and get right to the juicy bits of each movie..."
  • Flixmix: Loads O' Comedy
    "A compilation of fine comedy moments to share with your loved ones. Play it at funerals to lighten the mood."
  • Flixmix: Ultimate Fights
    "I have come here to review and eat spaghetti. And I’m all out of meatballs..."
  • The Fly (1986)
    "Bee afraid. Bee very afraid. Geddit? Ha! I kill me!"
  • Frank Sinatra - A Man and His Music + Ella & Jobim
    "Switch off your mobile phone, put away your laptop computer and mix yourself a martini or three. There’s simply no better legal way to bliss out than with Frank Sinatra on DVD. "
  • Frank Sinatra - A Man and His Music Part 2
    "Frank's love for his little girl Nancy gets the better of him on this DVD. Nancy Sinatra drags down what could have otherwise been another great performance."
  • Frank Sinatra - Francis Albert Sinatra Does His Thing
    "This is Frank proving he was still with it, hip and groovy in the far out fashion tragedy sixties. But we know you were better than them, Frank!"
  • Frank Sinatra - The Man and His Music
    "The Chairman is in fine form here. Settle in with a drink for 50 minutes of musical pleasure."
  • Frank Sinatra - The Man And His Music With Count Basie And Orchestra
    "Frank goes out on a high note with the final DVD in this series."
  • Frank Sinatra - Ol' Blue Eyes Is Back
    "Frank and ol' chum Gene Kelly briefly relive the good ol' days when dancing didn't have to be done to DOOF DOOF music."
  • Frank Sinatra - Sinatra 'The Main Event'
    "Frank looking a little long in the tooth and a bit more restrained in his performance, but the crowd laps it up all the same. "
  • Frank Sinatra - Sinatra - Featuring Don Costa And His Orchestra
    "This is Sinatra with a spring in his step and a punch in his voice."
  • Frank Sinatra - Sinatra In Concert At The Royal Festival Hall
    "It’s not like he doesn’t try...it’s just not his best performance"
  • Frank Sinatra - Sinatra In Japan
    "Oh, what could have been with this set list! What a waste on a deadly dull audience."
  • Friday After Next
    "...good to see that the inhabitants of the Friday world at least have a shittier time than I in the hours leading up to the weekend."
  • Friday/Next Friday
  • From Hell (Rental)
    "'Ello guv, I'm Hever Graham, wanna give me DVD a twirl? I'll 'ave you know I'm ya basic cheap tart to rent..."
  • Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
    "A classic film on a DVD that looks almost as good as the pneumatic female stars."
  • Get Carter (2000)
    "Ey yo! Ungh ug, fer roo, conna gonf zhu! Adrian!"
  • Ghosts of Mars
    "Marilyn Manson vs the chick from Species."
  • The Girl Next Door
    "I quote from the doco: “I can pop in two minutes with her foot in my mouth.” Enough said?"
  • The Glow (Rental)
    "Superman (Dean Cain) and Stick Girl (Portia de Rossi) fight the most evil force on Earth - OLD PEOPLE!"
  • Gods and Generals
    "I’d get up to applaud the effort that has gone into this, but my arse has gone to sleep."
  • Gridlock'd
    "It won’t set your world on fire, or even steam up your underpants, but it might give you a laugh or three."
  • Halloween 8 - Resurrection
    "He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Again. But this time, I’m certain about it, for the last time. Maybe. Okay. Probably not."
  • Head of State
    "This film isn't going to make anyone change their dreams overnight. Black people will still want to be President, white people will still want to be well hung."
  • Heist
    "Heist tackles the crime caper style of The Score and gives it a good run for its money."
  • Holy Man
    "Call 1-800-DVDNET NOW and buy a copy of this review. It will make you smarter! It will make you sexier! It will make you smell better! Pick up that phone!"
  • Hooper
    "Too bad if you like this film, because this DVD isn’t worth the plastic it comes on."
  • The Hot Chick
    "The Gods can be cruel sometimes. As evidence, I present Exhibit A: The Hot Chick."
  • House of Wax
    "...I pooped my pants"
  • Houseguest
    "Invite a drunken hobo to stay the night instead."
  • I-Spy
    "Owen Wilson has a nose like a dick, and the film made my wife fall asleep."
  • Impostor (Rental)
    "Sigh... another rental release. Good movie, but."
  • In Dreams
  • Innerspace
    "This '80s take on Fantastic Voyage is a great refresher to why film can be fun."
  • Instinct
    "Any psychological drama which attempts to sell itself as “...from the hit-making director of Phenomenon and While You Were Sleeping” deserves to be flushed down the toilet with the worst after-effects of last night’s curry."
  • Intimacy
    "‘Bum’, ‘boobs’, ‘knob’, ‘sex’, and ‘pervert’. Especially ‘pervert’. "
  • Invaders From Mars
    "The Russians are coming! The Russians are coming!"
  • The Invisible Man (1933)
    "Paul Verhoeven take note, and see how the story of an invisible loony should be done."
  • It Runs in the Family (Rental)
    "Looks at the drama and humour a family can face when old and young generations have to (or want to) come to terms with each other."
  • Jailhouse Rock
    "Elvis. In Jail. In NTSC. Fools."
  • Jaws - 25th Anniversary Collector's Edition
    "A must have for any fan."
  • Jeff Buckley - Live in Chicago
    "You don't recommend Jeff Buckley. You tell people to discover him for themselves."
  • JFK: DC
    "psstt...do you know who killed Kennedy? Oliver Stone does, and he wants to share the secret with you...but keep it quiet...I think someone's listening..."
  • John Q.
    "A well-rounded release with a good but flawed picture, fine sound courtesy of similar DD 5.1 and DTS 5.1 mixes, and a swag of extras which expand on the concepts in the film while entertaining and educating."
  • Johnny English
    "English, Johnny English, licensed to crap my pants at the first sign of danger and walk into an open manhole."
  • Jurassic Park III
    "Jurassic Park III is practically the kind of film that DVD was invented for..."
  • K-9: P.I.
    "Belushi and the farting dog are back for part three in the series on a basic, but good, DVD..."
  • The Kentucky Fried Movie
    "A finger-lickin’-good DVD."
  • King Kong Lives
    "King Kong Lives is a perfect case to support filmmaking euthanasia."
  • Kingdom Come (Rental)
    "The film gets one extra star just for not having Chris Rock in it. Great picture, nice audio, bugger all extras."
  • Kiss - The Second Coming
  • Kung Pow - Enter the Fist
    "Jackie Chan is spinning in his grave, and he isn’t even dead yet..."
  • The Last Castle
    "Robert Redford leads a revolt in a prison run by James Gandolfini, determined that the American way of prison life will not be sullied by some greasy dago wop bastard. And it's an great looking and sounding DVD, as well..."
  • Law & Order - Season 1
    "Screw watching television for a joke, just buy this DVD set and put an episode on whenever one of those bloody annoying and idiotic 'reality' shows come on."
  • Lock Up
    "Huuuurgh! Stallone. Aaaaroni! DVD. Mawraa! Average. Arrghhhhhh!"
  • Long Time Dead
    "An utterly, utterly forgettable crap film. A fine enough DVD though."
  • Lost & Found
    "David Spade is about as funny as having rectal surgery performed on you by a monkey wielding a blunt axe."
  • The Love Letter
  • Love Me Tender
    "Emotional, powerful stuff, Elvis really acts the shit out of everything he can get his hands on."
  • Mad Dog and Glory
    "A good film with a pleasant transfer totally devoid of those pesky extras that get in the way of things."
  • Made
    "Watch Made with Swingers and you’ll have a double feature night that is so money."
  • Magnum Force
    "This dvd knows its limitations."
  • Malibu's Most Wanted
    "How does crap like this get made?"
  • The Man From Elysian Fields (Rental)
    "The Man from Elysian Fields will reward a public willing to forego bombs and boobs for something which will stimulate the mind rather than just the eyes."
  • Man of the House
    "..this isn’t a patch on the quality of more recent fare from Disney.. "
  • The Man Who Knew Too Little
    "Bill Murray is usually a right crack up, but not nearly enough in this film. The DVD is as bare as my butt after a group shower on Annual Nude Day in Bareville."
  • The Master of Disguise
    "Dana Carvey sets out to prove he is a no-talent comedic hack without a shred of originality - and succeeds! Bravo Dana!"
  • The Matrix Reloaded
    "This is gonna sell in huge volumes, no question."
  • Max Keeble's Big Move
    "This DVD makes me want to be a Mouseketeer! "
  • Miami Vice – The Collection
    "Get yourself in the mood for this. Pull out volumes 1 and 2 of the Miami Vice soundtrack on LP record, put on a pair of linen jocks and pour yourself a wine cooler. The coolest show on television is back. "
  • Mission to Mars
    "In space, no-one can hear the audience whinge like babies."
  • My Dog Skip
    "Put down your machineguns and lawsuits, and settle in for a pleasant evening of family entertainment with little Willie Morris and his even littler dog Skip. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll trade-in your cats."
  • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
    "The Griswolds in NTSC? What the f*ck is the world coming to?"
  • National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation
    "The Griswolds. In Vegas. In NTSC. Fools."
  • Niagara
    "Marilyn walks the walk and talks the talk of a shifty sexy tramp up to no damn good. And DAMN! What a walk she has..."
  • Noddy & the New Taxi
    "Do you have kids who like Noddy? No? Good."
  • Nothing But Trouble
    "This DVD is simply a piss-poor effort in all respects."
  • Novocaine (Rental)
    ""Dentist", "rental", and "comedy" are three words you don't normally see in the one sentence..."
  • Ocean's Eleven (2001)
    "A slick (but ultimately forgettable) film on a slick DVD with a slick picture, slick audio and slickish extras..."
  • The One (Superbit)
    "It’s short, it’s well paced, action packed and it contains a kickarse fight between Jet Li and himself that is far more exciting than any punch-up in The Matrix flicks so far."
  • Out Cold
    "Just enough laughs to keep me amused, just enough skiing to not make me bored, and just enough Victoria Silvstedt to make me frustrated."
  • The Outlaw Josey Wales
    "The Outlaw Josey Wales is a fine example of the genre, with many elements making the story more accessible than some would think. "
  • Paradise
    "Paradise is an unashamed tear jerker made to elicit an emotional response from easily manipulated sooky-lalas."
  • Phantom of the Opera (1925)
    "It’s your typical ‘lovesick masked psycho meets girl, girl unmasks psycho, psycho goes on rampage” story."
  • Phantom of the Paradise
    "This is about as bizarre as they come - Brian De Palma was clearly out of his mind when he made this. Not a brilliant disc by a long shot, but still worth checking out..."
  • Pink Floyd - Live at Pompeii: The Director's Cut
    "Stick it in, switch it on, kick it back. It’s the Floyd!"
  • Planet of the Apes: SE (2001)
    "...a great looking picture, fantastic sound and an absolute bucketload of extras, it’s one of the best quality and value for money releases available"
  • The Pledge
    "...a slow paced compelling thriller"
  • Pluto Nash (Rental)
    "Hollywood, we have a problem... this film sucks."
  • Pollock: CE
    "A must see DVD for anyone interested in art."
  • Poltergeist
    "Rather than buying that feature bloated new release that you don't really want anyway, why not take a look at this instead?"
  • Powder
    "This is one of my favourite films, and it manages to make me cry every time I watch it. Stupid manipulative film."
  • The Prime Gig (Rental)
    "A potentially smooth talking Mamet wanna-be let down by script suffering from pre-mature ejaculation."
  • The Princess Diaries
    "The Princess Diaries doesn’t suck, it’s really cool!"
  • Project Moonbase
    "A spellbinding look into the craptastic future of 1970!"
  • The Prophecy
    "Walken as a deranged Angel fallen from grace? More perfect casting there never was."
  • The Prophecy 3 - The Ascent
    "Tired, predictable, boring, this is a limp ending to a series that started on a high and went rapidly downhill."
  • The Prophecy II
    "Jennifer Beals is a slut who carries the potential savior of mankind after rooting an angel. Why should we care about her? A poor sequel in every way. "
  • Raw Deal
    "As much fun as this seemed nearly 20 years ago, it’s just not the same thing now."
  • The Real Cancun
    "I’ve had hemorrhoids more interesting than this."
  • Red Heat
    "Arnold’s da man. They shoulda got the subtitles right. "
  • Red Planet
    "Whoah! Sure get some high arc in this low gravity, huh? –Sorry, it’s a guy thing."
  • Red Sonja
    "Perhaps there are still fans of Brigette Neilsen out there who will slavishly soak up anything the tramp has done."
  • Reign of Fire
    "Let us take our pants off and enjoy the stupidity!"
  • Richard Pryor - Live! In Concert
    "This DVD contains a killer performance from a classic comedian, but unfortunately it's saddled with a picture that isn't fit for video release."
  • Ring
    "Make sure you turn off the lights and watch this one alone late at night for the full effect, you big chicken"
  • Ring 0 - Birthday
    "The final scary chapter to this scary story about a scary video and a scary girl. It's pretty scary."
  • Ring 2
    "Unfortunately the characters in Ring and Ring 2 never met my Dad. Otherwise, they’d all be alive today, and the scariest thing they’d be watching on television would be Bert Newton..."
  • Rocky - Box Set
    "This boxset goes the distance and wins with a knockout punch."
  • Rocky: Special Edition
  • The Rookie (2002)
    "Disney sure do know how to put a nice film on a nice DVD. A nice story made into a nice film, transferred to a nice DVD, with a nice performance by the nice Dennis Quaid."
  • Route 666
    "Get your kicks on Route 66, but stay right away from this crap..."
  • Roy Orbison - Black & White Night
  • Rush Hour 2
    "...if this DVD is anything to go by, then the studios plans to turn us all into fat, demented, deaf and lazy slobs with arses the shape of lounge cushions is right on schedule. Enjoy! "
  • The Salton Sea
    "NEWSFLASH: Reviewer recommends Val Kilmer DVD! Read all about it..."
  • Santa with Muscles
    "Is there someone you really really hate? I mean really hate, with all your heart? Someone you wish very bad things upon? If so, give them this DVD. Then they'll know just how you feel..."
  • Santana - Down Under Live at Sydney's Hordern Pavilion
    "Fans can look beyond the flaws though and just revel in the Gold FM hits without the annoying ads."
  • Santana - Supernatural Live
    "If you thought Carlos Santana was Smoooooth, just wait till you see this dvd."
  • Scarface
    "Make way for the bad guy."
  • The Score
    "The DVD manages to be yet another big thumbs up to the competent hands at Roadshow, and earns my thanks for making my job of reviewing their titles so damn easy and enjoyable."
  • The Shining (1997)
    "I would like to see someone write a review featuring the word ‘sandwich’ more than this one."
  • The Sin Eater (Rental)
    "My eyes have been defiled once too often, and The Sin Eater has proven to be the DVD that broke this reviewing camel's back!"
  • Smokey And The Bandit
    "Yehaaaaaaaa! Squeal like a pig, boy!"
  • Snake Eyes
    "C’mon, seriously, if you’re a corrupt cop and a friend offers you a million bucks to turn a blind eye, you’d take the money and run to the nearest whorehouse, wouldn’t you?"
  • The Sopranos - The Complete Fourth Season
    "Serves up the very definition of compelling television."
  • The Sopranos - Series 1
    "Wanna know what Waste Management really means? Well I could tell ya, but then I'd hafta make ya swim with da fishes...you know what I mean?"
  • The Sopranos - Series 2
    "Time to enjoy more fun from our two favourite f**ked-up families."
  • Sorority Boys
    "This fine DVD is a comedy about guys in dresses. The DVD looks good, the guys look bloody ugly. If my cats were as ugly as them, I'd beat them to death."
  • Space
    "A fantastic trip out into the universe without leaving your couch."
  • The Specialist
    "The Specialist generally gets a broken thumb-up, even if the extras only appeal to fans who have climbed down out of the trees and can read."
  • Stallone Collection
    "...at the heart of every full-fledged Pauline Kael wannabe film critic is the childish spirit of someone who loves to yell out "AAAADRIAN!" when they get drunk and nude."
  • Star Trek: First Contact
    "Set a course for the Entertainment Zone, Fun Factor 9. ENGAGE!"
  • State Property (Rental)
    "May everyone involved in this film be struck down by a bolt of lightning."
  • Stickmen
    "Luk, Stuk en Teu Smuking Berrils"
  • Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
    "After you watch this film, you can only wish that Stallone’s mom did in fact shoot. Shoot Stallone. At birth."
  • The Stranger
    "As a dvd, it's nothing exceptional..."
  • Sudden Impact
    "Dirty Harry takes it easy this time and hands the gun over to Dirty Harriet."
  • The Swarm
    "Bees! Millions and millions of bees! Aiiiiieeeeeee…!"
  • The Sweet Smell of Success
    "The old saying, "They don't make them like they used to" applies here, and many current heavily marketed films simply don't have half the punch and interest that this film is capable of generating in a single scene."
  • Terminator 2 - Judgement Day: UE
    "The gentle story of a boy, his mum and their killer robot from the future finally gets the proper DVD treatment it deserves. Read. Buy. Enjoy."
  • Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines: CE
    "If you can’t enjoy T3, then you’re probably already dead. "
  • Texas Rangers (Rental)
    "...two hoofs up."
    "I’d personally recommend that you spend the $32.50 they want for the DVD on a home lobotomy kit instead. Both will do the same thing to you, but at least the lobotomy kit is fun."
  • Them!
    "Atomic testing creates huge mutant ants which threaten mankind. As soon as I download the instructions from the 'net, I'm gonna make my own atomic bomb and nuke the bloody ants in my backyard right back to hell."
  • There's No Business Like Show Business
    "You just sit back, watch the spectacle, munch on your chips, then forget about it as soon as it’s over. That’s not good. Not even Marilyn saved this one."
  • Thirteen Days
    "As far as I'm concerned, this is one of the best releases of the year."
  • Thomas & Friends - Twin Trouble
    "If you're just after something to throw on for the kids to give yourself ten minutes of peace and quiet so you can have a morning scotch, then this will do fine. Just don't kid yourself that they're going to learn anything."
  • Thumbtanic
    "Thumbs, a big ship and water. It's a tragedy waiting to happen."
  • Thunderheart
    "...it works by the successful fusion of acting, cinematography, score and story. And my horse joke helps, too. "
  • Ticker
    "This film is called Ticker because it is about a mad bomber. I think it should be called Crapper, because it will bore the shit out of you. "
  • The Time Machine (H.G. Wells)
    "A fitting transfer that does justice to a much loved sci-fi classic."
  • Timecop 2 - The Berlin Decision (Rental)
    "...several hundred million of my brain synapses just died."
  • Tombstone
    "This DVD's your huckleberry..."
  • Tough Guys
    "A film that could have done without the blatant Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas hero-worshipping."
  • Treasures of The Twilight Zone
    "Gather round little ones. It's time for another trip to that strange place where nothing is as it seems."
  • Tremors 3: Back to Perfection
    "Somehow, crap CG + bad acting + stupid story = fun. Go figure."
  • The Tuxedo
    "...if we can learn anything from The Tuxedo, it should be that Chan doesn’t need a loudmouthed unfunny dickhead like Chris Tucker to make a film viewable."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 10
    "As we all know, sometimes it takes a bit of time travel to knock some sense into us."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 11
    "Uh oh, the furniture...it's starting to talk back again…"
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 12
    "...like everything else in the Twilight Zone, a second chance comes at a price..."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 13
    "Men at war with themselves in The Twilight Zone "
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 14
    "The Mind’s Endless Dimensions…In The Twilight Zone"
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 15
    "Talking mirrors, a magic stopwatch, deals with the devil and the end of the world...Must be Twilight Zone Time again!"
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 16
    "Rocketships, robots, crazy kooks and desperate midgets…either I’m having those weird dreams again, or we’re back in The Twilight Zone."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 17
    "When the cover says "Justice Applied...in The Twilight Zone", you just know they're going to be found guilty..."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 18
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 19
    "The Polaroid camera from Hell, crazy voodoo curses, time travel and things that go "whirrrrrr""
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 20
    "If your dreams come true and you’re no longer dreaming, then you’re probably in The Twilight Zone."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 21
    "Depressed? Feeling blue? Then take a look at other peoples misery in The Twilight Zone, that'll make you feel better."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 22
    "Nutjobs, spooky talking rings and yet more time travel. What else do you want? "
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 23
    "Possession, retribution and time take a whirl in The Twilight Zone with nasty results."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 24
    "So you think people in The Twilight Zone are just like us, huh? Then this dvd will set you straight pal."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 25
    "Remember that crap movie with John Travolta and Olivia Newton John called Two of a Kind with that song, Twist of Fate? No? I didn't think so. What if I hum a few bars for you?"
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 26
    "finely crafted tales of human frailty, assembled by hand with love and attention by the masters of the macabre in the Twilight Zone."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 27
    "Nazis, screaming women and lovesick computers. And that's just the people that work for DVDnet... "
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 28
    "A great 1 hour episode and quality transfer hold the fort with this installment in the biggest dvd series there is. "
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 3
    "...a testament to the consistently high quality of the transfer for a show made for television over 40 years ago. "
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 4
    "...this dvd gets the thumbs up from me."
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 8
    "This is an ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL Twilight Zone purchase...AND YES I'M YELLING!"
  • The Twilight Zone - Volume 9
    "Watch this dvd and unleash the power of your mind the Twilight Zone way, not the crappy Anthony Robins way."
  • View From the Top (Rental)
    "Who does this film appeal to? I’m at a loss. Not me, that’s for sure, much as I enjoyed the energetic and appealing performance of Paltrow’s boobs."
  • Viva Las Nowhere (Rental)
    "Country music, cheap tramps, death and apricot pips, these are a few of my favourite things. If I was Billy Ray Cyrus, that is. Which I'm not."
  • Waking Up in Reno
    "Rent some beers instead."
  • Walker
    "An offbeat take on American history that patriots will find unpalatable."
  • The Wanderers
    "...basically just a cool film. "
  • Webs (Rental)
    "...absof*ckinglutely crap."
  • Wild in the Country
    "A good film on a good DVD, but ain't it time to release the '68 Comeback Special now? I'm sure Elvis would say "Uh-huh, baby.""
  • X-Men (Rental)
  • X-Men 1.5: UE
    "Oodles of extras, a cracking picture, dynamic audio and most importantly an enticing slice of movie entertainment to prepare you for the imminent sequel."
  • X-Men: Special Edition
    "You can stop holding your breath now! The dvd you've been waiting so patiently for is finally here. And I think you're gonna like what you see..."
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