Earth Girls Are Easy

Director Julien Temple commenced his film career at England's National Film School, in fact having been around the London punk scene from the outset his thesis film was the rather fabulous, if historically questionable (it was, after all, the phenomenon as seen through manager Malcolm McLaren's eyes), look at the career of the Sex Pistols that was The Great Rock'n'Roll Swindle. Sticking with his musical affinity he went on to direct videos for the likes of Jagger and Bowie, made a feature film (Mantrap) for Trevor Horn protégés ABC, and was at the helm of the rather colourful Bowie/Patsy I-need-another-rock-star-to-marry Kensit vehicle Absolute Beginners, a fun little film that is too often cruelly savaged.

So, why all this history? Well, as much as it isn’t another band vehicle, Earth Girls Are Easy does retain a familial link to Temple's previous works, essentially coming across much like an extended and rather flashy music video. But if given a chance it has so much more to offer, both in sheer entertainment value, and even as something that pokes a big stick at the sheer vacuousness of '80s American culture. It's hard for me to imagine anybody else carrying such a story off as well as Temple has, mainly as being a wide-eyed Brit discovering the phenomenon for the first time he has brought a certain innocent good nature to something that could have been altogether more bland and unfunny in the hands of anybody more familiar with the whole Californian scene.

Ditzy Valerie (Geena Davis) has a good gig as a manicurist at the Curl Up and Dye (it was funny before it got overused!) salon, she's engaged to a doctor, and, and, and - well, she hasn’t had a bonk for more than two weeks - how's a girl to survive?! In an attempt to gain some more attention it's makeover time - from brunette curly headed bubblehead to blonde femme fatale. She even cancels her trip to the cuticle convention to surprise her fiancé, but when Doctor Love comes home with a bimbo nurse in tow…

"You can’t expect me to be more evolved than I really am..."

After a glorious round of house trashing (we learn that bowling balls and computer monitors don’t mix, as indeed microwaves and footballs don't), Val decides to get some R & R by the pool.

Meanwhile, somewhere in space, some very bright (well, physically at least) fuzzy aliens zoom in on this curious round and bouncy creature with no hair. A fight ensues and uh-oh, the ship is out of control and spiralling towards Earth. Inevitably it crash lands in Valerie's pool, and as if her day hasn’t been harrowing enough she now has to face the prospect of hosting three even-more-clueless-than-her aliens, Mac (Jeff Goldblum), Wiploc (a very young Jim Carrey) and Zebo (Damon Wayans) after inadvertently breaking their means of transport. Time to call pool man Woody (Michael McKean laying down the prototype for The Simpsons' Otto)…

Realising she'll never get away with hiding her fuzzy new friends as they are, it's off to the salon for one hell of a waxing session to try to humanise them - and who'd a thunky they'd be so hunky?! Then it's time for a spot of nightclubbing, a trip to the beach, a donut break, even some hospitalisation and a bit of revenge on Doctor Love - and of course Val falls for one of her visitors, but gee, could such a long distance relationship ever work?

Well, well, well - 2.35:1 and anamorphically enhanced to boot - a very impressive start. However, the good news doesn’t end there…

I would guess that a film as vividly colourful as this would have presented a challenge to anybody having to encode it - at least if they were going to do it well. Considering the film's age the news is pretty much nothing but good. The rich and vibrant palette is presented beautifully, with the saturation pretty much spot-on throughout, and obviously much attention has been given to the likes of shadow detail, contrast and black levels. The vision remains remarkably sharp without heading into too-sharp territory, and in all the treatment given here to Earth Girls Are Easy results in an incredibly pleasant visual surprise.

There are occasional black and white speckles that pop up, however the keyword there is occasional, as well as a couple of rare instances of aliasing, but to sum up anybody expecting more than we're given here visually would have to be the eternal optimist. The layer change comes mid-scene, but isn’t too horrific.

Dolby Stereo is what we get, and it all sounds pretty good. Whilst predominantly centre based, if you have invested in all those extra little speakers they do get some attention - even the subwoofwoof got to go for a bit of a gambol on occasions. There were no synching issues, and in all the audio achieves a fine balance between dialogue and music levels - something not all musicals on DVD can claim.

Funkmeister de Chic supreme, Nile Rodgers, was responsible for the score, and sadly it is a product of its time. Has there been any cheesier period in the history of music than the late '80s? I seriously doubt it - Yamaha certainly have a lot to answer for! Riddled with those hideously cringe-worthy crystalline digital sounds, cheesier-than-a-deli brass pads and those horridly fake boofy drum machine thunks, it would suck totally if not for a few sometimes left of centre additions. One of the show's stars, the fabulous Julie Brown - if you have never heard her The Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun then you've seriously missed out, and sadly you will here as it isn’t included - gives us her glorious 'Cos I'm a Blonde to make amends for some of the lesser tracks, such as Geena Davis wailing The Ground You Walk On, a notable lowlight. From the corner of good come the Scottish gods of feedback, Jesus and the Mary Chain, who pop by with their almost demonic cover of Who Do You Love?, no strangers to rennet-ridden delights Depeche Mode donate a rare cover in a fab version of Route 66, the B-52's get a couple of guernseys and, and, and - umm, oh goodness, then there's Hall and Oates (ick, I feel SO dirty - clomp, clomp, clomp - Amy goes and washes her hands...)

Yes, much of the soundtrack is truly woeful, but it has a certain aptness considering the nature of this film.

Firstly, the animated menus must be applauded, as they are simply gorgeous, and quite the surprise when most any film of this vintage generally is lucky enough to even have a menu. Big hugs are due for those responsible. But that isn’t the only surprise in store, as more effort than you would probably expect seems to have gone into sourcing extras for this disc...

Deleted scenes: Hmm, this isn’t strictly true - there are two genuine deleted scenes which tie in with each other, both involving Las Vegas King O'Sleaze Wayne Newton. I can only proffer that perhaps he objected to their presence, but considering what a parody he is anyway I'd be surprised and disappointed to find his sense of humour had escaped him. The other scenes appear to be B-roll footage of Carrey hamming it up, and a potpourri (labelled as such) of outtakes and further B-roll stuff. In all about eight minutes worth, the quality both visually and sonically is most certainly anything but great, however with such footage it is sometimes unreasonable to expect better.

Sing along with…: Woo! It's karaoke time! Four tracks are included here, three ('Cos I'm a Blonde, A Brand New Girl and The Ground You Walk On) culled directly from the film (so they are in their correct aspect ratio of 2.35:1), plus one (I Like'em Big and Stupid) in 1.85:1 which appears to have been specially created. All have the lyrics superimposed in large, friendly letters, we get cat's that say "woof!", fish that hiccup and even instructions to indicate your hair and boobs (well, if you have them, I guess). Hey, there's even a nod to Citizen Kane!

Trailer: In 1.85:1, this is nothing to write home about. It's about two minutes long, in mono, scratchier than the worst case of German measles imaginable and generally icky.

Cast and crew notes: When these cover films up to 2002 nobody can be accused of being slack. Brief but interesting bios and filmographies for Davis, Goldblum, Carrey, Wayans, McKean (I never knew he was Lenny in Laverne & Shirley!), Julie Brown and director Julien Temple are included, my only real criticisms being the tiny font that was used, and a couple of minor inaccuracies (umm, Carrey in a flick called The Cable Show?)

Production notes: Brief and inconsequential.

Oh, and if his commentary on the rather more accurate (and HIGHLY recommended) history of the Sex Pistols, The Filth & the Fury, is anything to go by, be thankful there isn’t a Julien Temple commentary here. He makes great films, but oh dear he comes across as a dreadfully boring man.

Wafer thin on plot, but even larger than Large Marge on steroids when it comes to fun and laughs, Earth Girls Are Easy is a fabulously frivolous, utterly silly yet incredibly enjoyable diversion. Featuring great performances from some great comedic talent, especially great scene-stealer Julie Brown, it's like, well, really great!

DVD-wise there is so much more than I ever would have expected for a title such as this. Visually it's quite wonderful, the audio is more than serviceable, and the extras put many big studios that class scene selections as a special feature on discs of films of this vintage to absolute shame.

Much like a slightly grown up version of all those classic '80s teen flicks, albeit without a Molly in sight, I have loved this film since first clapping eyes on it, so if your sense of humour also tends towards the utterly frivolous at times I cannot recommend it highly enough. And if being able to enjoy a thick slab of silliness is simply not in your make up then, well, like you know, whatever...