Get Carter (2000)

Sylvester Stallone picks up the phone and calls his agent, Paulie.

Stallone: Yo, Paulie!
Paulie : Yo, Sly.
Stallone: I asked you not to call me Sly. It’s Sylvester. I’m not a child you know.
Paulie : Whatever Sly. Did you read the script I sent you?
Stallone: That Get Carter one? Sure. But why’d they call him Get? Didn’t his mama love him or somethin’? My mama would never give me a silly name like Get.
Paulie : What the hell you talking about Sly? His name is Carter. People want to GET him! Get him, Get Carter. Get it? Sheez. It’s like working for a kid sometimes...
Stallone: Yo, take it easy, Paulie. You know my mama don’t like it when you talk to me like that…and you know what happens when I get mad...
Paulie : Yeah, you make films like Oscar...
Stallone: Hey! I liked Oscar.
Paulie : Well unfortunately, you were the only one who liked it. And who saw it. But this Get Carter film, it could be good, real good. It could get you some respect.
Stallone: Respect? I don’t care about respect. I care about box office receipts. That’s what’ll buy me respect. What’s the angle on this Get Carter character?
Paulie : Angle? There’s no angle. He’s a collector for the mob. His brother is killed. So he goes home to find out who did it. And then kill them. Michael Caine made the original a few years back. Michael Caine didn’t need an angle. And he got respect.
Stallone: Yeah, but he’s British. The British always get respect. I think it’s a Shakespeare thing. And he fought against Zulu’s. I saw it. They made a movie about him.
Paulie : What the hell are you talking about? Michael Caine did not fight Zulu’s. He was in a movie about fighting Zulu’s. He wasn’t actually there! It wasn’t a bloody documentary! He’s an actor. He doesn’t go around killing people for real! Zulu was a movie. Get Carter was a movie. He was acting.
Stallone: Sure Paulie. Sure he was. And I want a goatie.
Paulie : WHAT!? WHAT THE F...
Stallone: …A goatie. I want a goatie. In Get Carter. I’ll look tough. I want one. That can be my angle.
Paulie : …the goatie will be your angle? Let me understand. We want to remake a classic British film starring Michael Caine, and your characters angle will be that he has a goatie?
Stallone: Right. And I like goaties. And in the end, he shaves it off. It’s a metabolic thing. Great, huh?
Paulie : …a metabolic thing? You mean a ‘metaphoric’ thing?
Stallone: Sure. Like I said, it’s a metabolic thing. Whaddya think?
Paulie : Is my cut still 20%?
Stallone: Of course...
Paulie : …then I think it’s a great idea.

Even if Paulie didn’t think much of the movie's chances at the box office, he didn’t have to worry about how good the film would look on dvd. In a word, itlooksabsolutelyfantastic. The world inhabited by the characters is wet, dark and gritty, full of blues, greys and lots of shadows. The picture comes pretty damn close to perfect, if only it wasn’t for the slight edge enhancement visible, and the sharp edges of Stallone’s white shirt suffering from stair-stepping.

These are only minor problems (in fact, let’s not even call them problems, let’s call the “uh-ohs�) however, because once you look past them, the picture really does look so good. The print, in a 16x9 enhanced 2.35:1 aspect ratio, is so clean, so flawless, that you actually want to like the movie more because of it.

Paulie would also be very happy with the audio job on Get Carter. It has a lively 5.1 channel mix which utilises all the speakers to good effect, without ever sounding too gratuitous in its use. The dialogue occasionally sounds a bit too obviously ADRed, but at least it’s crystal clear at all times. Actually, the only problem is that sometimes Stallone himself isn’t too clear and the great quality of the transfer makes it too obvious. You’ll hear every “Zugara shemto mur hurgh!� and “Mana hurg relgor vermda arg!� perfectly clear, like he was in your room mumbling it directly to you.

The effects for gunshots, fistfights, car chases, blah blah blah all have a bit of added emphasis with some nice bass to make them sound good and meaty and give your gear a bit of a work out, and plenty of use of the rear channels to envelope the room with nice little effects from time to time to enhance the experience.

The inclusion of a directors commentary from Stephen Kay was a bit unexpected, as I wouldn’t have thought the success of the film would have warranted the effort of one, so a thumbs up to start with. It’s not too bad as far as these things go, with quite a few silent pauses and then small tidbits of info about the shooting of scenes. The deleted scenes run for about 8 minutes in total and don’t add up to much really. Same goes for the cast/crew bio’s which are a quick and unrevealing read (surprise surprise). The trailers section has a Get Carter (2000) trailer, another for the original Michael Caine Get Carter and a hidden trailer for The Art of War (Wesley Snipes) which is accessed by selecting the faint image of a gun on the page.

This movie was never going to win any awards. It’s not great by a wide margin, but it is better than I expected, and perhaps not entirely deserving of all the shit-canning it received from know it all critics. Sure, if you’re after high-art filmmaking, then this won’t be your bag, baby, but if you don’t mind sitting down with an hour and a half of reasonable entertainment with great picture and sound, then give Get Carter on dvd a whirl.