The Red Badge of Gayness: It's the day before the annual civil war re-enactment, and in their capacity as fife and drum squad the boys are having a final practice - all will be fine if Cartman will stop channelling Animal from The Muppet Show... And so to the big day, organiser Jimbo rallies the Confederate and Union troops in preparation - the main ingredient of the latter being innumerable cases of schnapps. As anybody with a bit of American history knowledge will tell you, the North won the war, however General Cartman Lee has other ideas. It's amazing what a lot of alcohol can do to a gaggle of men, and soon they are off to conquer Topeka, Chattanooga and even Fort Sumter. Can the South rise? Will they be able to take on the National Guard? Will they get home before their wives leave them? Will we see the tape of Bill Clinton and Marisa Tomei? Will Lincoln and Davis save the day? Kenny is a casualty of war...

Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics: Let's depart the usual episode format and snuggle up in a big comfy armchair with our favourite poo, Mr Hankey, shall we? Thrill to Kyle's Draidel Song - the round version, as his parents, Cartman and Stan all join in! Cry for poor Adolf (yeah, right!) as he pleas for his very own Tannenbaum as It's Christmastime in Hell! Ding-dong-along-a-Mr-Mackey, m'kay?! Join Cartman and choir for O Holy Night! Have a Merry Bleeping Christmas with Mr Garrison! Shing-along with Shtan'sh shister Shelley on the sh-iest Chrishtmash shong ever (and my, she is a shtrong little thing)! Relax to the shoothing shtrains (AGH, I can’t shtop!) of Father Christmas and Jesus as they rally through a personalised medley of Yuletide hits such as Away in a Manger, Joy to the World, O Come All Ye Faithful, Silent Night and, umm, Duran Duran's Rio! And Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas with Mr Hankey himself. Bid a sad farewell to Mary Kay Bergman, and boggle as Kenny still manages to snuff it...

Are You There God? It's Me Jesus: New Year's is almost here - and it isn't just any New Year's, it's the dawning of a new millennium! Expectations are high, however the boys are distracted by other matters, as Cartman has hit puberty at the ripe old age of 8 - he must have, he has his period... Meanwhile the hordes descend on Jesus' pad, yea it is written that something big will happen at the dawning of 2000, so what's he got in store? He asks his Dad for some help to capitalise on his John Travolta-like popularity resurrection, but the Holy Father is reticent. Desperate, Jesus arranges a Rod Stewart gig in Las Vegas, the only trouble is that Rod doesn’t quite cut the dashing figure he used to - and everybody expects something altogether bigger to happen. Will Jesus come through, or will he be crucified again? Will God show up? Will Cartman opt for pads or tampons? Can Chef explain the menstrual cycle? What effects do hormones have on an 8 year old? Are the Backstreet Boys a bad influence? What will be the one question? Kenny gets a bit of a toxic shock...

The Brown Noise: Pox is presenting the musical event of the new millennium - over four million kids performing My Country 'Tis of Thee on recorder simultaneously. Joy! Still, Yoko Ono and Kenny G are overseeing it, so how bad could it be? Whilst South Park's third graders practice, Cartman becomes obsesses with discovering 'the brown noise', the frequency at which the human bowels loosen and people, well, plop their pants. Meanwhile, Mr Garrison is apoplectic, as the event has been moved to his home state of Arkansas (yes, it's a state). Why is Mr Garrison freaking out? Who'll win in a fight between Mr Mackey and Mr Hat? What is a queef? Will the boys get revenge on the New York kids? Is Kenny G a good kisser? Will the brown noise be found, and if so what will be the consequences? (Ask anybody who was at the same Evelyn gig I was a few months ago!) Am I the only sane person left on earth? Ouch, poor widdle (or should that be poople?) Kenny...

It's the end of season three as we know it, and it's getting more than a little tricky to write these reviews and say the same stuff different ways. However, I will avoid the temptation to simply cut and paste from a previous review and at least make make an attempt...

Video? Well, perfectly decent for a cartoon thankyouverymuch, and so much better than watching South Park on SBS that it is quite re-marklar-able.

Sound? Dolby Stereo, which works nicely enough, although I'm sure there is some sad case out there bemoaning the fact that these weren't all remastered in 5.1 - it's a TV show, get over it.

Extras? Ha ha ha, yeah, right. The same cover shots of previous releases are available, and that's aboot it.

Other stuff? Well, the episodes are presented in their entirety throughout, rather than with the Braniff and Comedy Central logos removed as in seasons one and two. This is a Good Thing, of course. The packaging follows on from other third season releases in that it is in an Amaray case, not a crappy jewel case thingy. Remember, jewel cases for DVDs suck ass - as does the lack of chaptering within episodes here. Still, as Cous Cous once sang at us, two out of three ain't bad.

Of all the discs released so far, this is in my opinion the most patchy. The Red Badge is pretty much a non-episode, and whilst I can see what Trey and Matt were getting at with the Mr Garrison sub-plot in The Brown Noise, I really think it could have been handled quite a lot better. However, Are You There God? is superb, and the Mr Hankey special is sublime in its hilarity and sacred cow slaughtering (eat your heart out Charlie Brown!) - political correctness? Well, it's all about as politically correct as South Park ever gets, and that of course is something to be joyous about. When you see what's in store you'll understand why this is the only South Park disc to get an 18 rating in the UK so far.

In all this is not the greatest collection of South Park episodes, but needless to say it is an essential purchase for anybody who is a fan.