The Simpsons - Dark Secrets

Shhh! Don’t tell anybody, but did you know that Homer changed his and the alien was really and Jebediah Springfield was actually and Homer is a… purplemonkeydishwasher?!

Yes, it’s time to get jiggy with some of Springfield’s dirt, in another compilation which started life as a clunky old VHS release a few years back. While another typically Homer-centric selection, some relief comes in the underrated Lisa the Iconoclast – well, for those who tire at Homer’s continued dumbing down and appreciate a little intelligence in their animated stories - while series six’s Homer Badman offers a chance to remind ourselves just how sharp the show managed to be earlier on in its life.

Here’s a bit more goss…

Homer to the Max (season 10):

So Marge, ever considered a career as an intern?

The new mid-season TV shows are out, with the snappily named Police Cops pilot featuring a mega-cool detective named Homer Simpson. Our Homer basks in reflected fame, until the series proper begins and the character has been rewritten as a klutzy doofus sidekick. Homer changes his name to Max Power – decisive, uncompromising and rude – and the Simpsons, erm, Powers, are soon on Springfield’s A-list…

"Nobody snuggles with Max Power, you strap yourself in and feel the Gs!" – Homer Simpson

The Springfield Files (season 8):

His jiggling is almost hypnotic…

After sucking back the odd beer or ten, Homer walks home from Moe’s, only to encounter a bright, glowy green alien life form in the forest. Naturally, nobody believes him. The report soon reaches the ears of one Agent Mulder of the FBI, so he and Scully set off for Springfield to check the story out – could they prove Homer’s not just another pathetic low-life with a boring job looking for attention?

"A lifetime of working in a nuclear power plant has given me a healthy green glow…" – Monty Burns

Lisa the Iconoclast (season 7):

Lisa and the silver tongue…

Springfield is about to celebrate its bicentenary, so Lisa’s class is given the task of creating essays on the town’s founder, Jebediah Springfield. Taking the project very seriously (of course), Lisa checks out a local museum full of Jebediah memorabilia, uncovering the secret confessions of this apparent ‘true American hero’. The patriotic townsfolk, however, refuse to believe her discovery…

"Embiggens? Hmm. I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield." "I don’t know why, it’s a perfectly cromulent word." – Mrs. Krabappel and Ms. Hoover

Homer Badman (season 6):

MMMmmm... sweeeeet candy!

Homer nabs tickets to the Candy Industry Trade Show, where he and Marge pocket many a sample product – the prize being the rare Gummy De Milo. Dropping the babysitter home, Homer notices his latest treasured possession is stuck to her behind, so grabs it. This is mistaken as a lecherous lurch and Homer is accused of sexual harassment – not helped by a dodgy exposé from tabloid TV show Rock Bottom…

"I feel like a kid in some kind of store!" – Homer Simpson

Ooh, another secret - The Simpsons has never been made in anything other than a ratio of 4:3. What? You already knew that? Stupid lousy thinking it was news and it wasn't and stuff and…

Ahem. Thus, obviously, those with widescreen tellies will have to endure big black bars at the sides, but otherwise, as these are all later episodes in the series’ life, the news is very good on the visual front. Colour is just lovely throughout, while overall sharpness is as good as it gets. The more eagle-eyed may notice the odd fleeting bit of animation gloop, however this is to be expected in a show which (until very recently at least) adhered to the traditional process of creating animation, via cels not computers.

Anybody who’s stumbled across previous compilations such as this should know what to expect; sound delivered via surround-encoded Dolbily Digitally Doodily stereo, just how Mother Groening originally intended it to be heard. All dialogue comes through cloud and lear… OK, who let Ned Fland-iddily-anders in here? I want him OUT, right BLEEPing now, this is my BLEEP BLEEPing BLEEP review for BLEEP’s sake!

Oops, sorry about that – we’ve installed an alarm to warn us of Ned alerts, so it shouldn’t happen again. Anyway, as was being alluded, all the spoken stuff is easily digested, while the music is nicely balanced so as not to drown anything out. It’s getting very hard to say anything interesting in these bits without just saying the same thing over and over, so, cutting to the chase, it all sounds pretty good, OK?

Uh-oh Spaghettios! We just get trailers for the first two seasons on DVD and four previously released compilations such as this. Woohoo! Not.

Let’s face it, any fan of The Simpsons worth their overbite has seen each of these episodes many a time via Channel Ten or cable. There’s one big advantage with DVD releases such as this, however; no ads. More hopeful acolytes may wish to wait for full seasonal releases, however more realistic ones will realise there’s a Homer’s chance at a fat farm of them ever all making it to DVD – at least at the ludicrously crawly current rate of release.

And that’s the end of that chapter.