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    Off Beat

    Buena Vista/Buena Vista . R4 . COLOR . 88 mins . PG . PAL

      Feature
    Contract

    ‘Bungling reality.’

    That’s a term I just invented to cover this sort of film. It exists in a world where drug dealers don’t carry weapons and police never swear. Where bumbling fools manage to save the day and are rewarded for their heroism, even though they are incompetent morons. Where criminals are easily disarmed through their foolishness and lack of simple violence. There is no war, no disease and no aggressive partners in this world and everyone is either a dedicated professional, a smelly hobo everyone’s keen to share an ironic reflection on life with, or a struggling idiot trying to become one or the other.

    It’s a strange world.

    And it’s Hollywood.

    This five star horror features Judge Reinhold getting his hands on a juicy, juicy role as a nerdish and weak-willed library clerk. His girlfriend dumps him the same day he accidentally ruins his policeman friend’s undercover drug bust. To pay back his friend, he must turn up at an audition for a police charity and perform in a dance routine. He meets a sassy lady cop (Meg Tilly) and an instant attraction sees them become closer, while her ex-partner attempts to keep them apart.

    "Make him stop dancing! I hate that!"

    Meanwhile, he must maintain the belief that he is a policeman much to the consternation of the police friend he is impersonating. Sooner or later everyone’s gonna find out he isn’t a real cop, but will it be too late and will his new girlfriend think less of him? Will anyone stay to find out?

    This is a bunch of rubbish really. Meg Tilly does her best and Judge Reinhold is just his annoyingly soft-spoken self. God knows how they managed to get Harvey Keitel in as a bumbling bank robber, but even he’s annoying. Director Michael Dinner has no doubt created his masterwork here because he doesn’t seem to make many movies anymore. Happily.

    I don’t recommend this film, not even as a rental. It’s brainless and inept and by the time we are convinced the dancing is crap (five minutes in) we’ve already reached for the (bucket) remote.

      Video
    Contract

    For a 1986 film, this does look fairly okay. Delivered in the blisteringly good 4:3 screen ratio there are only really frequent moments of mild grain that limit the picture. Colours are even, flesh tones are okay and blacks are true. Surprisingly the shadow detail is quite clear, but then this is a Buena Vista transfer, so we shouldn’t expect any less. There are some minor film artefacts tossed about, but these are sporadic at best (again, surprisingly).

      Audio
    Contract

    Ball-tearing Dolby Digital stereo brings us this dross in nice style. Dialogue is clear but very occasionally (okay, once that I saw) the words appear to be re-dubbed into some statement less ruder than what the guy actually would have said. Perhaps trying to stick with the PG rating? I don’t know and I don’t care.

    Surprisingly, music is by James Horner, who utilises a lot of reggae and tropical beats to give the film its ditzy nature. This works to keep the film frivolous, but isn’t anything you’d rush to the store to buy (even if you’re a hardcore fan since Titanic). The main instruments appear to be a Northern Exposure-like accordion and a Jamaican steel drum. Fun, but essentially ordinary.

      Extras
    Contract

    Thankfully, not a sausage. Except for the director.

      Overall  
    Contract

    A generally unfunny (although trying desperately hard with tough cops in ’80s leotards and headbands) and worthless film that would do nothing for the career of anyone concerned. Even the cover art is of stuff that isn’t in the film. Talk about weak. And it’s not even a good caricature composite work of things that occur within the film. Embarrassing and outdated by a good 25 years, even though we aren’t yet 25 years away from when it was released.


  • LINK: http://www.dvd.net.au/review.cgi?review_id=3712
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      And I quote...
    "This stinks so bad it should be called Off FEET."
    - Jules Faber
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Teac DVD-990
    • TV:
          AKAI CT-T29S32S 68cm
    • Speakers:
          Teac PLS-60 Home Theatre System
    • Centre Speaker:
          Teac PLS-60 Home Theatre System
    • Surrounds:
          Teac PLS-60 Home Theatre System
    • Subwoofer:
          Akai
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard RCA
    • Video Cables:
          Standard Component RCA
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