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  • Widescreen 1.85:1
  • 16:9 Enhanced
  Languages
  • English: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
  Subtitles
    English, Hebrew, Greek, English - Hearing Impaired, Icelandic, Danish, Swedish, Norwegian, Finnish, Bulgarian
  Extras
    Frank McKlusky, C.I. (Rental)
    Buena Vista/Buena Vista . R4 . COLOR . 80 mins . M15+ . PAL

      Feature
    Contract

    Every so often a film comes along that shatters box office records. Unfortunately it seems Frank McKlusky, C.I. may have done it for all the wrong reasons, grossing approximately $13.50 – and that was actually misreported popcorn sales*.

    Despite a couple of interesting casting choices – Randy Quaid and Dolly Parton as husband and wife just for starters – this film starts with a hearty “gobblegobble” and never really gets better. Where do we begin? The artwork is pretty much a rip off of Ace Ventura, and the film’s star, Dave Sheridan, is pretty much a rip off of Jim Carrey. So far so bad. Then there’s the script – oh goodness, it somehow manages to be offensive to every group of everybody upon the planet (so at least it doesn’t discriminate), having ill-advised pokes at women, gays, blacks, blondes, Jews, the overweight, the handicapped and more. Now too much political correctness can be bad, so it’s often worth having a stab at, but there are ways of doing it without reaching the absolute nadir of bad taste – hell, this makes Dumb and Dumber look like Sense and Sensibility by comparison!

    Appropriately it begins with a flashback to the titular character’s father, a daredevil named Madman McKlusky (Quaid) – sort of like Evil Kneivel only he sucked - exploding upon his motorcycle before even hitting the ramp, which is quite the apt metaphor for this whole ordeal of a flick. Stuck in an unconscious coma type of deal, any hope of insurance money coming in is dashed by a couple of dodgy lawsuits courtesy of the Rosengold “brothers” (Kevin Pollak and Tracy Morgan). It’s because of this that young Frank vows to become a claims investigator when he grows up, and his Mom (Dolly Parton, looking entirely dazed and confused throughout – or perhaps she’s just had too much facial surgery) swears she’ll make sure her family is always safe.

    Flash forward 20 years, Frank is a 25 year old virgin in a safety helmet, but true to his word he has become a C.I., working for the mighty Conglomerate Insurance. Then one day his donut-scarfing partner, Jimmy (Kevin Farley), is murdered in mysterious circumstances while the two are investigating one suspicious bald guy in a wheelchair named Scout Bayou (Enriko Colantoni). Frank is sure something not quite right is going on involving this guy, and when he discovers a connection to the Rosengolds he pulls out all stops to get to the bottom of what’s going on.

    To be honest there are a couple of funny moments, and the odd bit of snappy direction from Arlene Sanford, but that's not enough - just how this little turkey actually got green-lighted is a mystery to rival anything Hitchcock ever put to celluloid. As mentioned, Parton is off on another planet somewhere, Quaid spends most of the film in a coma (literally) and the “star”, Dave Sheridan, is possibly the most derivative human being to have ever klutzed his way onto a movie set.

      Video
      Audio
      Extras
    Contract

    Vince’s Law, which I do believe dictates that the crapper the film, the un-crapper the transfer, is well and truly in effect here. Hey, let’s face it, it’s not like they would have had any trouble finding an unwatched print of this shocker! Save for two examples of rather hideous shimmering this 16:9-enhanced, 1.85:1 transfer is flawless – speckle-free and exhibiting colour just the right side of retina-scrunching, while blacks are spot on and detail is excellent.

    Sound is a choice of Dolby Digital 5.1 or silence. While it’s tempting to suggest the latter is preferable, those brave enough to endure this (and it’s only 80 minutes “long” with credits!) will find a decent enough mix, one which utilises the rears a little and the subwoofwoof for the odd clunk and thump, but it never exactly excites. Oh, and to make things worse it has Hanson in it.

    Oh thankyou! Mercifully there are no extras whatsoever to suffer through. Sometimes these things can be a blessing.

    Hey, when cameos from Lou Ferrigno and Scott Baio can’t save a flick you know you’re in deep poo-poo. Despite the odd to-spite-yourself chuckle, Frank McKlusky, C.I. really is only for the most desperately masochistic rental junkies.

    * Duh, I made that up.


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  •   And I quote...
    "Makes Dumb and Dumber look like Sense and Sensibility..."
    - Amy Flower
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Pioneer DV-535
    • TV:
          Sony 68cm
    • Receiver:
          Onkyo TX-DS494
    • Speakers:
          DB Dynamics Eclipse RBS662
    • Centre Speaker:
          DB Dynamics Eclipse ECC442
    • Surrounds:
          DB Dynamics Eclipse ECR042
    • Subwoofer:
          DTX Digital 4.8
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard RCA
    • Video Cables:
          Standard Component RCA
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