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  • Widescreen 1.85:1
  • 16:9 Enhanced
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  • English: Dolby Digital Mono
  • French: Dolby Digital Mono
  • Spanish: Dolby Digital Mono
  • German: Dolby Digital Mono
  • Italian: Dolby Digital Mono
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  Extras

    Car Wash

    Universal/Universal . R4 . COLOR . 92 mins . M15+ . PAL

      Feature
    Contract

    …and that was another six songs in a row from the groovin’ Pointer Sisters. You’re listening to the sweet voice of the Reverend Vincent Jones and we’ll be right back with a DVD review after a few words from our sponsor…

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    …okay we’re back, if you’ve just tuned in, I want to send out a great big lovin’ hello out there in DVDland to all my sweet sweet soul sisters and brothers... you’re listening to the soothing sounds of the almighty underground of DVDnet radio, boomin’ back at ya from our dark and dingy offices located right down here in central downtown on the corner of Hey-Baby and Whoa-Mama.

    Today for your pleasure, because I know you like to be treated special, we have a request from a favourite member of our big lovin’ family, and it’s for the ’70s funkafied classic Car Wash, the film with a groovin’ cast of the black world’s finest and funniest set in the happenin’ and soakin’ wet world of a hand car wash, where the last thing on anyone’s mind is cleanin’ your Cadillac, if you catch my drift.

    Now this here fine feature of fantastic faces doesn’t behave like your average ordinary white-folk adventure, because the derailed dude, the Batman franchise disaster-master, the man with the plan to put Clooney in a can, Joel Schumacher himself, penned what passes for the script to this film. And what a script it is – or isn’t. You see my little round plastic fantastic fanatics, there’s nothing much happenin, but there sure is a lot going on, ya dig?

    Click here to enlarge and send to a friend
    Why we should all forget the '70s ever existed...

    Now this here isn’t your traditional story like you’re used to, such as “whitey goes down to the shop and buys his mama some bacon for her grits and gets into an adventure with Captain America.” No way, what we have here is the day in the life of our unsung hardworking heroes – your brothers and mine - who wash your ride and polish your pistons while they just try to make the bread for their sweet sweet ladies at home. And the ladies don’t want to know about their face, because they’re sick and tired of being left high and dry while their boy is out on the town all night long, or he doesn’t want to make a better life for him and his girl by going back to college and getting a real job so she can afford the finer things in life – seven inch platform heels, Donna Summer concert tickets and an 8-track cassette player for the car. They’re all working for the man, and the man don’t pay our brothers like he should, and the man don’t care whether you worship Allah or pray at the hazy purple altar of Brother Pot. The man just wants our brothers to work hard, work long and work cheap! Yes, The Man is a lazy-ass fat snow white oppressor who will one day work for us, brothers and sisters! Time for another break, we’ll be back after these words…

    It’s Carmine Ragoo here from the Crazy Carmine Car Carnival Company! Are you looking for a quality used car that won’t cost you too much? Then you need to come down to Crazy Carmine’s Car Carnival Company Weekend Only Sale! We’ve got thousands of used cars for you to choose from all at amazingly LOW, LOW prices! And, with our special “Trade-in Anything” offer, the prices are even better! That’s right, trade-in anything! Bring in your bike, your child, hell, we’ll give you cash for your toenail clippings! Just bring it in and make us an offer! Any offer! We just don’t care! We’re Crazy! Don’t miss out! The Crazy Carmine Car Carnival Company – we put people in front of cars!

    We’re back again. Well, sister Janeece has just stepped into the booth here at DVDnet Radio and asked if I could service her car’s engine right now, so, not wanting to disappoint the fine lady, I’m going to leave you in the gracious and talented hands of brother Don King. Take it away, brother...

      Video
    Contract

    ...Thankness and greetulations to all my children out there, today I am proud and determinivistic to say that this fine film Car Wash looks good, real good brother, especially when you consider the age and the ob-scurlarity of this little slice of funky ’70s badassness. The calarity and level of detailation is a notch above what I was expectivating, with some scenes it looked downright sweeeeeeet and not out of place in something more contemporary, save for the fantabulous yet dated fashions. But, If you are a picky-ass whitebread lookin’ for problems, you might see some aliasing from time to time, but it is the only noticeable aberration in an otherwise perfectly abutivilously acceptable transferation.

      Audio
    Contract

    It is, however, not such good news for the audio. It displeases and saddens my heartage to have to announce to my brothers and sisters that I had some difficultation in understanding a sizistic part of the dialoguing. Praise the Lord it's not as big an issue as it could be, because most of the dialoguing is a bit ‘throwaway’ anyhow, seeing as the brothers are making up some of it on the spot. Yes, they are our finest, but no, there are not any classic quotable lines in this one, let me tell you.

    The soundtrack works much better, and it’s a good thing because we have got some tunes to put groove into even the straightest white butt. Forget your negativity and fade in on the best songs from a decade that I’m sure nobody will ever forget. Yes my brother, I am pulling your leg, but there are some guilty pleasures to be had, and guilty pleasures are the best sort of pleasurations, do you hear what I’m saying?

      Extras
    Contract

    And as we find our way to the extras, what do we discover in our expaloratory journey of dicoveration? Nada! No extras at all, but that's okay, because it's not like there was going to be a three hour documentary floating around about the making of this film. Well, that’s what The Man would say, anyhow. But I bet you my last spliff that if Tom Cruise was in this sucker, you know there’d be a five hour documentary about the styling of his redneck hair. But we gotta stick together brothers, for one day we shall rise up as one and we will demand that The Man in the Big Chair puts his finger on the pulse of the nation and give us what we want – naked pictures of Foxy Brown! That’s what I’m talking about! Can I get an Alleluia, brother?!

      Overall  
    Contract

    Let me just wrap for the Reverend Jones, as he is still practising the gentle arts of servation on Sister Janeece’s automabilia. Car Wash is a record of another time, another state of mindage and a fine testamentation to our hard working brothers just trying to make their place amongst the world and its peoplulation. It will not be to everybody’s taste, it will not find sanctuary in everyone’s home, but if you are less demandatating of your entertainament, you will run the indubiatamable chance of finding a slice of that pie within this here film. God bless.

    And now I leave you with 12 in a row from the slatistiously bealificent sounds of Jay Jay Love and The Magnificent Soultronics…


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      And I quote...
    "Now I can't get that song out of my head! All I hear is At the car wash! - my God it's driving me nuts!"
    - Vince Carrozza
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Sony DVP-525
    • TV:
          Philips 55PP8620
    • Receiver:
          Sony STR-DB1070
    • Speakers:
          Wharfedale s500
    • Centre Speaker:
          Polk Audio CS245
    • Surrounds:
          Wharfedale WH-2
    • Subwoofer:
          DB Dynamics TITAN
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard Optical
    • Video Cables:
          standard s-video
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