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  Directed by
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  Specs
  • Full Frame
  Languages
  • English: Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround
  Subtitles
  • None
  Extras
  • Theatrical trailer
  • Cast/crew biographies - Character Biographies, Artist Biographies, Voice Actor Biographies, Musician Biographies
  • Photo gallery - Art Gallery
  • Music video - The Touch - Stan Bush
  • TV spot - '80s Transformers Commercials

Transformers - The Movie

Madman Entertainment/AV Channel . R4 . COLOR . 86 mins . PG . PAL

  Feature
Contract

Flashback to 1985. Six executives sit around a table in the Hasbro, Inc. boardroom.

Executive #1: "Okay, now that we're all sufficiently coked-up enough to disguise the fact that most of our marriages are failing and that we are among the most evil beings upon the planet, let's market some toys shall we?"

Executive #3: "Well, I saw a guy flogging a horse the other day, it wasn't quite dead but it was getting a flogging nonetheless, and it gave me a capital idea..."

Executive #6: "I think I know what you're getting at here. Ladies and gentlemen, we all know that Transformers have given us a bigger retirement fund than any of us could have possibly imagined, but, like our wives continue to remind us, it could always be bigger. I think it's time to push this product into a new hemisphere. You bought the figures, you saw the TV series..."

Executive #3 & 4: "...now go and see the movie!"

Executive #4: "It'll be great! We can make it like one long toy commercial. Like a checklist for the kids to make sure they buy every single one featured in the film."

Executive #5: "But what about Optimus Prime? He was our biggest seller, although nobody seems to be interested any more."

Executive #4: "Kill him off! Not only will it mean that kids will rush out and buy him, but naturally they will have to buy his successor too!"

Executive #2: "While you're at it, why not kill off Megatron as well? Then we can double the sales by introducing a completely new character in his place. No, wait... in fact, why not an entirely new line of figures?!"

Executive #1: "Sheer genius people, sheer genius! It's times like these that I wish I wasn't planning to fire you all to make up for my impotence."

Well, maybe it didn't go quite like that, but despite the tremendous amount of nostalgia one feels upon revisiting Transformers, no one can deny that it's just a big commercial. It truly does play out like a giant checklist, with literally every character in the known Transformers universe making an appearance, and in a manner that simply demands the purchase of their plastic doppelgangers. That's 90-minutes of marketing right there. Parents accompanying their children to the screening must have been horrified. In an instant, it would have turned from an innocent family outing into what could potentially be years of deep financial muck.

But then again, almost everything's a commercial these days. If films aren't marketing toys, then it's clothing, soundtracks or cars. But the question remains, how does Transformers stand up as a film almost 20 years on? In general, it certainly packs in enough action and drama to provide an enjoyable night's viewing. Things heat up pretty quickly with a monumental battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons, all the while the intriguing premise of the planet-eater known as Unicron develops in the background. Of course, the fact that Orson Welles voices said planet-eater gives the film a certain level of hammy cred, as does the inclusion of Eric Idle, Judd Nelson and Leonard Nimoy. Hell, they even managed to fit a true-blue, honest to goodness swear into the film. Most importantly though, there are plenty of action scenes that give our heroes and villains ample opportunity to flaunt their transforming abilities, even despite the fact that many of them are gratuitous and entirely unnecessary. Like, who ever heard of a rocket-powered space train?

However, all the plot in the world can't make up for the memories that flood in for those that are re-watching this film as an adult. Almost all the senses can recall, in an instant, what it was to play with these figures, and therein lies the reason that most will consider picking up this title. But this isn't the be all and end all of its appeal. There is certainly an air of kitsch about the whole thing that ought to sit nicely with collectors of all things cult, too.

Yes, it's damn cheesy, but then again, that's half the appeal. You have to give credit where it's due. At the very least, they went to the effort of making 90-minutes of toy-spotting entertaining.

  Video
Contract

It gets a little difficult here. Although it's obvious that the film has gone through some extensive remastering, it has also aged poorly. The major problems here can mostly be attributed to sloppy and outdated animation and/or colouring techniques, however there are a few after effects that pop-up as well. A significant number of film artefacts are one such problem, and appear fairly often throughout the feature, however they are all tiny white specks and should go largely unnoticed by the average user. Some instances of telecine wobble and general instability in the print are also present, although again this is something most users won't notice, aside from fairly minor fluxes in brightness and contrast. Interestingly, grain isn't as much of a problem here as one would have thought. It is certainly there, but remastering has cleaned up most of it.

Despite these problems, the overall presentation of the film is as satisfying as most could have hoped for in its transition to DVD. Though appearing a tad faded from time to time, colour levels are alarmingly solid throughout and the overall image detail is more than generous. One caveat, of course, is that this is a full-frame transfer. Although one can't imagine a widescreen presentation adding that much more to what is essentially a swift trip back to the schoolyard.

  Audio
Contract

Okay, so the good news is that we now have Transformers in Dolby Digital 5.1, and when you get down to it, those patented transformations simply demand such a treatment. But for all the work that has gone into separating the channels and remixing them into 5.1, the actual fidelity of the soundtrack seems to have remained relatively untouched. At times, there is some awesome presence occurring, just check out any of Orson Welles' Unicron scenes for earth-rumbling proof. But moments like these are, unfortunately, too few and far between. A large portion of the soundtrack still sounds quite tinny, despite the presence of surround effects and subwoofer activity.

Although the quality of the soundtrack is a little disappointing, the efforts in remixing the soundtrack certainly weren't in vain. None of the fidelity problems ever really detract from the viewing experience, and that's what counts.

  Extras
Contract

On first inspection, there doesn't seem to be much extra material included here. A couple of trailers, some biographies of the characters, voice actors, artists and musicians and some obligatory art galleries make up the crust of it. But that's when you stumble upon the TV Spots. This heading is a gateway to one of the most extensive advertising archives yet seen on DVD. This collection of TV commercials covers just about every Transformer toy ever released upon the market, with many of the commercials even reserved for just one or two feature characters alone. It's a wonderful feeling revisiting these commercials and something that will truly make one wish they hadn't lost most of their figurines in sandpits and long grass. Be sure to check out the Japanese and French interpretations too. The only problem with this massive collection of material, however, is the quality. There is a disclaimer upon entering this section that much of the material has come from home video and as a result is of varying quality. Don't get your hopes up though, as it's all pretty terrible. But it's a nostalgic laugh, and that's the point.

It's not over yet though. One last feature that should be mentioned is the music video for The Touch by one Stan Bush. Despite having one of the most uncool names in the music industry, Stan Bush had something of a resurgence of fame courtesy of Paul Thomas Anderson and his porn epic, Boogie Nights. Everybody remembers the god-awful songs that Mark Wahlberg and John C. Reilly performed with such finesse during Dirk's short-lived stint as a rock star. What many people don't know, however, is that one of those songs was ripped straight from the soundtrack for Transformers - The Movie. And so it goes, that whilst searching through a 99-cent bin at a CD store one fateful day, Mr. Anderson stumbled upon said soundtrack and swiftly made a purchase that would go down in comedy history.

If you thought the parody was bad, wait until you hear the original. The actual video doesn't help matters either. It looks as though it was made for about $2.50 in one of those 'shoot your own video' booths. Mr. Bush, we salute you; anytime the aspiring musician in us begins to feel the weight of inadequacy, all we need to do is watch your video.

  Overall  
Contract

Although the audio transfer in particular is a little problematic, the overall quality of both video and audio should satisfy most. After all, one can imagine the fairly dire storage methods this film has endured over the years. In which case we should be thankful for its condition here. Don't be fooled by the apparent lack of extras either, as the tremendous amount of TV spots make this a rather handsome package.

If you're craving a journey down memory lane, then there's no finer catalyst than Transformers. As an added incentive, the shameless marketing techniques that were oh so subliminal as a child will have you in stitches this time around. It's just a pity that most of our robots in disguise became so good at their job that they disappeared forever.


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      And I quote...
    "...will truly make one wish they hadn't lost most of their figurines in sandpits and long grass."
    - Ben Pollock
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Omni SL-P2000KD
    • TV:
          Palsonic 71cm
    • Speakers:
          Teac PLS-60 Home Theatre System
    • Centre Speaker:
          Teac PLS-60 Home Theatre System
    • Surrounds:
          Teac PLS-60 Home Theatre System
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard RCA
    • Video Cables:
          standard s-video
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