If the senses-assaulting Robocop 2 was like the first film amped up to 11, then the third in the trilogy is akin to Robocop turned down to one and muffled by a pile of wet blankets, while an episode of The Wiggles blares from a nearby TV.
To even discuss the plot of the film is giving it a dignity that it doesn't deserve, but nonetheless... the villainous mega-corporation Omni Consumer Products (Robocop's makers and "owners") are determined to build a futuristic utopia, Delta City, on the ruins of Old Detroit. But the poverty-stricken residents of Detroit have no desire to move. OCP uses an army of Nazi-like mercenaries to evict these battlers. The question is... will our hero choose the side of his amoral employers, or join the struggling "little people?" Hmm, I wonder...
The first two films (especially the original) were gloriously violent and vicious assaults on capitalism, commercialism, greed, drugs, yuppies, and politics. Themes of identity, the law versus justice, the nature of sentience, and the value of individuality were also tackled. The action was so gory, excessive and loud that it was impossible to take seriously, and in its excess actually became a statement against violence rather than an advocation of it.
By comparison, Robocop 3 seems to have been written by a team of OCP spin doctors. It is remarkably bloodless and bland considering its roots, yet still too dark to be truly kid-friendly. It begs the question: what audience were the film-makers targetting?
Peter Weller has been replaced in the lead role by Fred Burke, who does what he can... but he's not our Robocop. Nancy Allen briefly reprises her role of Robo's partner Lewis in what amounts to a rather ignominious cameo. Add a cast of uninteresting new characters, some horrible special effects and the oh-so-dull "action" scenes, and you have a host of reasons why this toothless sequel is a tragic shadow of its predecessors.
This is best summed up by one of the opening scenes, wherein a trio of harrassed rebels, escaping from an army of mercenaries attempting to evict them from their homes, turn a corner and come face-to-face with an ED-209 robot. They stand rooted to the spot in terror as it gives them ten seconds to surrender themselves.
Point one... as I said, they're confronted by the robot as they turn a corner. But not a street corner... the corner of a wire fence. How could they not have seen the bus-sized robot on the other side?
Secondly... this is an ED-209, responsible for one of the most chilling and bloody scenes in cinema history. Remember the first film, wherein a hapless yuppie was filled with ten kilos of hot lead by a malfunctioning ED-209 in the infamous boardroom scene? So how can three emaciated street urchins hope to survive an encounter with this merciless killing machine?
Well, as the countdown begins, a cherubic six-year-old girl sprints between the confused robot's legs, kneels down and plugs her laptop computer into a conveniently located port, and types the words "loyal as a puppy." And then as the countdown concludes, the murderous automaton states that it is "now authorised to be... as loyal as a puppy."
And you thought that young Anakin and those brats from Jurassic Park were bad!
