Town & Country

These days, it’s a pretty safe bet that Warren Beatty’s involvement in a film guarantees that it’s crap. Spectacularly so. But when both Warren Beatty and Goldie Hawn appear above the title? Well you just know there’s going to be trouble. And so it is with Beatty’s latest offering – the cinematic turd Town and Country, which was seemingly dead and buried long before it hit the US box office. Afflicted with rewrites, re-shoots, production delays, interfering stars and budget blowouts, it took three years and US$80 million to finally reach a cinema audience. Disowned by its director Peter Chelsom (Funny Bones, Hear My Song) and held back for over 12 months by New Line executives, the film was promptly slaughtered by critics, ignored by the public, and now, seemingly, is being resurrected for the home video market. But is there really life after death?

The film opens with wealthy New York architect, Porter Stoddard (Beatty), and his wife Ellie (Dianne Keaton) celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary with their best-friends Griffin (Garry Shandling) and his wife Mona (Goldie Hawn). Soon after, Mona discovers that Griffin is having an affair, and their marriage comes to an abrupt end. Ellie's complacency about her own relationship is shattered when she discovers that Porter too has been unfaithful.

The rest of the picture relates the two couples' criss-crossing lives and marital problems. Porter and Mona, friends since childhood, travel to Mississippi together to check out her newly acquired country home. Whilst there, they enjoy a brief liaison, and when this serves only to complicate Porter’s life further, he retires with Griffin to a cabin amidst the Sun Valley ski resort. Here Porter hooks up with several other quirky females including a literary-minded cashier (Jenna Elfman) and a psychotic socialite (Andie MacDowell); failing miserably to bed any of them. The high point of the film comes when Porter meets MacDowell’s parents – the gun-toting Charlton Heston and a f**k-spewing Marian Seldes. In the end things all turn out as you might expect. Ho diddley hum.

"Just get me my f**king drink you stupid muff diver!"

Ok, so what’s so bad about it? Well, just about everything. After the first ten minutes you’ll be asking yourself, "where the hell is this film going?". Very soon after you’ll realise it’s going absolutely nowhere, and taking a hell of a long time getting there.

With no subplots, no subtext, no nothing, the writing can be described as poor at best and the cast, given nothing at all to work with, give tired, wooden performances. Beatty's performance is right up there with his turn as Dick Tracy – get the picture? In fact this film is so poor, it isn’t even funny to laugh at, let alone with.

Two writers are credited with producing this abomination, Buck Henry and Michael Laughlin. Laughlin, with no film of any merit on his CV, seems to produce films as often as he writes and directs. It is not hard to imagine that he was the brains behind this one. On the other hand it is hard to believe that Buck Henry, who has been responsible for some utter cinematic gems like To Die For, The Graduate and the TV series Get Smart, would have had anything at all to do with this project. It’s more likely that Henry was brought in by nervous New Line executives to try and breath life into the script. I mean for pity sakes, I can’t even work out what the title means!

All right, no more rambling – there is little point. But consider this - when Charlton Heston is the funniest thing in a ‘comedy’, and only because he seems willing to blatantly take the piss out of himself as NRA president, then you know that things are looking pretty bloody poor. Town and Country is a film that should never have survived its pitch to New Line executives, and I will never speak of it to anyone again. Ever.

Still reading this far? My, my, you are a glutton for punishment. In terms of video, Town and Country is yet another great anamorphic transfer from Roadshow, sporting all the goodies we have come to expect. Sharp with great levels of detail, the colours are bright and well rendered, and black level is perfect. There are several nighttime scenes, and these display a great level of shadow detail.

A nice clean print has been used for the transfer (there were probably plenty of unused prints just lying around), and there are little or no film artefacts to be seen. Similarly, Roadshow has introduced no glaring MPEG artefacts. There's a little shimmer at one point, and a few instances of aliasing crop up from time to time, but all in all nothing to make this reviewer reach for any kind of knife - not even a butter knife. Congratulations must again go to Roadshow.

Despite providing a Dolby Digital 5.1 mix, Town and Country is typical of a romantic comedy (which it fails to be), with an audio mix that is less than inspiring. Primarily dialogue-driven, the soundstage is mainly limited to the front, with clear and distinct dialogue eminating from the centre channel. The front channels are predominantly utilised to carry the score, traces of which, along with the odd bit of ambient sound, make it to the rear. The subwoofer is basically silent, except for the odd shot from Charlton Heston's rifle. Definately nothing worth staying awake for.

Goodness, are you STILL here?? You are no doubt now driven by a sense of morbid curiosity. Well, OK! You will be glad to know that Roadshow have done a good job with this disc, providing anamorphic menus that are nicely animated. In terms of extras, the disc provides two theatrical trailers that sport transfers that are on par with the feature itself. In addition, filmographies of the film’s stars are also provided. This is a very useful addition, allowing you to steer well clear of all Warren Beatty’s other recent projects.

Do not, under any circumstances, purchase, watch, or even look at the slick of Town and Country on the shelves of your local video shop. It stinks. Roadshow have done a great job with the transfer, but they needn’t have bothered. It is to be avoided at all costs - you have been warned.