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  Directed by
  • Widescreen 1.85:1
  • 16:9 Enhanced
  • English: Dolby Digital Stereo
    Dutch, English - Hearing Impaired
  • Theatrical trailer
Universal/Universal . R4 . COLOR . 88 mins . MA15+ . PAL


A bomber is going about terrorising the city. Tom Sizemore is put on the case and teams up with bomb disposal expert Steven Seagal. Seagal has dealt with this person in the past (although unsuccessfully) and together they work to track him down before he wipes out the city with a big bad mother of a bomb. I could mention that Tom's character is haunted by the death of his wife and son who were killed by a car bomb, but you won't care. I could tell you that a girl is involved in the bombing because of revenge, but you won't care. I could tell you that I fell asleep the first time I watched this and had to watch it a second time to finish it, but you probably just won't care.

And you're not the only who doesn't care. None of the actors look like they could care less. Dennis Hopper must have been ready to shoot himself when he agreed to play one of the bad guy bombers. You know they're the bad guys because they all wear long black leather coats. I think they're supposed to be Irish, but you can't be sure because they forget their accents every second line. Tom Sizemore, who is capable of way better than this, barely looks interested. He walks around, says his lines, but if you look hard enough you can see him thinking "What the f**k am I doing in this rubbish? I was in Heat and Saving Private Ryan for crying out loud."

And then we have Steven Seagal. Unlike the others, he belongs in crap films, so he's right at home in Ticker. His best moment comes near the climax of the film when he has to talk Sizemore through defusing a bomb... oops, I mean a ticker, which has just one minute left on the clock. Believe it or not, Seagal spends the first 25 seconds telling Sizemore that the secret to diffusing a bomb is to know his own mind and not to be afraid of death because even if he gets blown up he'll come back again anyhow. Excuse me? What the hell kind of crap is this? He may as well have said "To diffuse the bomb, you must be the bomb, grasshopper."

But that's enough about the film for now. It's so dull that I'm struggling to maintain my enthusiasm to bag it, so let's discuss the transfer quality instead before I fall asleep again.


The 1.85:1, 16:9 enhanced picture certainly isn't the best you've ever seen, but it's fine for a film no-one's going to watch. Detail, or lack thereof, is the main complaint. For example, Chapter 1 has a close-up of Seagal's ugly head which shows skin detail that is far too soft and simply doesn't compare to most recent transfers. Colours are all a bit bland making the picture look older than it is, with interiors very grey and muted and exterior shots just a little too dull to be classed as "natural" looking. The whole thing has a low budget look which is reminiscent of a made-for-television production. In Chapter 6 there are two scenes which appear to have telecine wobble and a loss of focus. This occurs fairly quickly but is very noticeble, and the whole effort just doesn't leave a good impression on you.

I was surprised to see this is a stereo mix, and the ordinary sound clearly suffers from not having the use of the surrounds. The dynamic range sounds limited, lacking crisp highs and supportive lows for an overall very muddy sound. The quality ranges from flat and lifeless to dull and uninspiring, never coming off any better than a good VHS recording. Very bland.

The sole extra is a trailer. I didn't think it possible, but the trailer is actually worse than the film. It's not even a proper trailer. Watch this and you won't know what the film is about. Then again, even if you watch the film you probably still won't know what the film is about, other than it having something to do with a guy who blows things up.

I don't want to sound totally negative about this DVD, so I'll say that I've finally found another film which is up to the task of sitting alongside my DVDs of Fortress 2 and Simon Sez. I think it's a bloody shame when quality films such as Jacob's Ladder sit patiently awaiting release on DVD and boring cheap junk like Ticker makes it to the shelves. Even though this is now a lower priced retail title, I can't imagine anyone in their right mind actually paying for it.

  • LINK: http://www.dvd.net.au/review.cgi?review_id=1003
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  •   And I quote...
    "This film is called Ticker because it is about a mad bomber. I think it should be called Crapper, because it will bore the shit out of you. "
    - Vince Carrozza
      Review Equipment
    • DVD Player:
          Sony DVP-525
    • Receiver:
          Sony STR-DB930
    • Speakers:
          Wharfedale s500
    • Centre Speaker:
          Polk Audio CS245
    • Surrounds:
          Wharfedale s500
    • Subwoofer:
          DB Dynamics TITAN
    • Audio Cables:
          Standard Optical
    • Video Cables:
          standard s-video
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